Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Growing, Attaching, and Surviving

Growing, Attaching, and Surviving

These words describe the three places I’m in with each of our three boys right now.  If someone would have told me just a few years ago that at 30, Justin and I would have 3 teen/preteen boys in our family, I would have said you were crazy. This season in our life has been a challenge, even painful at times, but also so fulfilling and life giving.

I am so excited for what’s to come for this young man. In the beginning of our journey together, he (at times) drove me crazy with his sarcasm (his defense- keeping everyone at arms length), his need to be right (his fight for some control), and his chatter (if I’m quiet, you might see who I really am).  I now enjoy his questions, sense of humor, and desire to show you just how smart he really is- and actually believing it for himself too! It makes my heart smile that his question “Do you actually love me?” has turned to a statement “You guys really love me, huh?”  He is beginning to believe that the corrections, the re-dos, the conversations are not meant to criticize, but to challenge. He is GROWING.

I feel like I have always had a bond with this young man.  He is strong, but sensitive; he is silly, but deep; he is trusting, but guarded.  I love that we can hang out together and be comfortable without having to say a single word, or go from talking about music to our deepest fears in 2 minutes flat. I cannot imagine our family without this great kiddo as a part of it somehow. We are ATTACHING.


Friends, in true honesty, I am struggling in this season with this young man and I have to remind myself- he is struggling too.  We have had multiple ER visits, lots of deep breathing, and approximately 3 days in the past 5 months without a meltdown of some sort- and he totally knows me well enough to push my buttons.  We have had weeks at a time without a single positive interaction.  Then every once in a while, he has an awesome day and I get a glimpse of the kid he would be/could be, if we could just get through the junk that the world has dumped on him. We are SURVIVING.